Dec 9, 2015

Settling the dust

It seems more difficult to write about Pa's demise than to write when he was still around. 21 days have passed since he went to the Lord. 

The day before he passed away, that was on the 16th November, a Monday. I took leave from work and spent a whole day by his bedside. By late morning, I said a prayer to God to take Pa home as he is suffering. I wrote this on Facebook, and many read it. A dear cousin who lived in New Zealand messaged me through the day to help me to cope. She said it was the bravest thing one can do for a loved one. To ask God to take them home to end their suffering. It was with a heavy heart I knelt down to pray, putting my hand on Pa's chest and asking God to take Pa home.

Pa passed away peacefully in his sleep on the morning of 17th November 2015. And just as he has intended, we fulfilled all his wishes right down to the last detail. That he was to be cremated within the 3rd day and his ashes to be cast into the sea. The ritual was completed and done within 30 minutes, my sister held on to his ashes, Pa's 3 grand daughters braved the rocky tide on a bum boat and set out to sea with me.

The Cantonese congregation from our Church of Singapore came alongside with us. Said prayers and sang Pa's favourite hymn "Amazing Grace" before we placed his ashes into the sea. 

Ma was too weak to go anywhere so we had to contend her with photos, mini videos of the whole episode. From the day of his funeral wake, right down to the day of the sea burial, God protected us, wipe every tear from our eyes. We didn't weep because we are sad, we wept because we are happy. That Pa has gone to a better place. And God kept His promise to us that Pa was to go in his sleep. That Pa wouldn't suffer so much.

As a family, we are forever and eternally grateful that God gave us 18 months prior to Pa's death, time to cope, time to grieve and time to bond with Pa. Every wakeful moment in these 18 months, we care for his needs, tip toed around him, rallied around him.

Today (9 December 2015) marks the 21st day since Pa left us. Sure we missed him. But our thoughts of him are happy thoughts, wonderful memories and peace within. We slept better at night, we could laugh and joked like always. We spoke of Pa in our work, our meals as if he was still around. 

With this much said, I also want to tell everyone who reads my blog, to take stock of time with your parents. Loved them, care for them now. Don't wait. If you have a gut feeling to take time off from work to spend time with your mom or dad, just trust your instincts and do it. Because Tomorrow may never come. 

Love isn't Love till you give it away. 

God Bless you..!