Jun 14, 2011

Lonely Me...

I'll be Loving You Forever sung by the group West Life.

This is going to be a very lonely week for me at work. For the last 2 years since we open shop, Benny always spends his after work hours with me. Without fail..every day. This week, starting from tomorrow, he is sending his car for servicing and he says he won't be able to come. Then on Thursday and Friday, he was invited to 2 different dinners outside. So won't be coming too.

It suddenly dawned on me how lonely I felt. How miserable it was to spend my days at my shop alone. Even though he only comes in the evening..at around 7pm and within an hour, we closed the shop. He would help me to close the shop, pull down the shutters and drive me home. In the car, I would tell him things ..anything and everything. Some silly things, some happy things. But we often talk about our girls. That ride home is only 15 to 20 minutes. Yet it seem to be very long.

For the past week(last week), I noticed that he was making it all up for projected lost time. He took time off work to spend with me at home. And he bought me lychees and stuff to eat. Benny is not a man of many words..but he is definitely a man of Action. If you love him enough or more like the way I did with him, then you understand the things he does..he does it out of love.

In many ways, I talked about stress and sleeplessness. My friends ask me if I were stress at work. I always say I am not. Because I enjoy what I do every day. And even if I have to come home and cook just for him, I would do with it with so much energy and zest for life.

And he would ask me to ring up the house on our ride home from the shop..to ask the maid to steam up food or heat up the soup I have cooked the day before. But I would say to him...

"No. We would reach home, and while you bathe, I would prepare the food for you. "

I know most people wouldn't have bothered and would just ask their maids(domestic helper) to get it done. But I see this simple gesture as my way of bonding with him. I am dead tired after a long hard day at the shop. And Benny sees that too. He never dare to ask me to do anything for him after work.

But if Love is all I have for him, its the little things in life I do that brings out the best of me for him.

In the summer of 1997, we went to USA for 14 days. But Benny couldn't extend his leave to 14 days and ended his holidays with us in 10 days. We went there with my parents, my niece and my daughter Natasha. Seen in this photo, this photo was taken at The Golden Gate at San Francisco, USA. We later travelled to CA, USA to stay with my aunt and uncle for the last 4 days.

When we were apart, holidays doesn't seem too happy for me. And Benny was miserable throughout his air travel from LA, USA back to Singapore. Even when he was home, he felt a pain in his heart as if it was stabbed with a knife.

Since after that in 1997, I swore to myself to be there for him always. In more ways that he would have thought of. Even the simpliest of all things, prepping a meal which the house maid could do or getting him a drink or even just making hot tea..I would see to it that I do it for him.

Our 14th Wedding anniversary, celebrated in the month of November, together with my aunts/uncles who are also celebrating theirs in November. When our girls are still really young...

In the little things that counts..these are things that counts. When my friends see that I go all out to cook for him. And to satisfy all his cravings on any kind of food, they often say "Benny is so blessed. " Because Benny completes me and blesses me just as much.

In ways he knows best..the things he does for me daily. I know.

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