Mar 19, 2011

Why me, Lord?

Why Me Lord, a hymn sung by The Gaither Vocal Band.

A dear friend of mine recently had a baby. Who isn't due till end of March 2011. But the doctor had to deliver her soon as my friend's blood pressure suddenly shoot till very high. A ultraviolet scan also confirmed that the baby wasn't growing and fearing still birth, she was delivered by c-section. While mom was recovering in her ward, the baby was whisk away in an incubator where she lay and seem to be struggling too.

Words reached me about her untimely birth while I was still in Guangzhou, China for a business. Not knowing head or tail of all that has happened, I only know one thing I could do for her. And that is to pray for them.

A bit of sharing with my friend and me, I found out that her blood pressure went awry due to some family problems. Which I will not relate here because that's too personal. But all I say is that it causes her much anxiety and fear of the unknown.

Now she has been discharged from the hospital but her baby is still in the hospital.Friends rallied around her, praying for her baby. And while I chatted with her online, I told her my own story...

Of once upon a time..some 20 years ago. I was pregnant with Natasha and she was due to be a New Year baby but she came earlier..all because my blood pressure shoot to 220/120. I was rushed to the hospital and the doctor had no choice but to deliver the baby as it was life threatening.

At the operation table, I was under GA..and didn't know anything. But when I came out of it, I found out that I almost died on the operation table. My heart stopped...and I lost much blood. The doctor had to revive me. I remembered overhearing Benny when he spoke to his best friend :

"I don't want to have another child. Seeing how Gina went through, I can have no kids, but I cannot have another wife. She almost died at the operation table.."

Some of the underlying reasons why Natasha and Melody are 8 years apart was also due to this reason. I took a long time to convince Benny that if God saved me once, He will saved me again.

The reason my BP went up so high was that I was working at that time. And overheard my boss saying that he would retrenched me before I give birth so that he doesn't need to pay me 2 months leave(maternity leave). He dragged my probation for almost a year not wanting to confirm my job when he found out I got pregnant. I needed to work, to have an income so I could pay for things, medical and all that. And though Benny could support me, I didn't want to weigh down our family income.

I was retrenched during my confinement month..the first month after Natasha's birth. In my 2nd month, God found me a job and soon after, I went to work. My boss, though single, was a kind man. I worked for him and was loyal to him for over a year until I left and join another company. We remained good friends even after Ieft the company.

And if you think I have forgotten what God has done for me once, yes, I did. After all, I am still human and to make errors like this, happens just too often too. When I had Melody, history repeats itself. But this time, I emerged as a heroine. I put my name down for retrenchment instead..thus saving 2 of my colleagues' jobs in the same company. And having gone through one retrenchment, this time I was much prepared and God proved to me again..

How much more He loved me because He is also the same God who clothed the flowers and feed the sparrows. Melody was born at 33.5 weeks, a premature baby. And I was out of a job again. And again, in my 2nd month of maternity leave, I was head hunted for a Regional Support position in Singapore.

My ex boss was an Irish of the co-founders of Quark Xpress software..the renowned DTP software at that time. He interviewed me, gave me the same salary I had in my last job and God restored everything I thought I have lost when I was retrenched from my previous job.

So this post serves to inspire you. The next time you think of the darkest moments in your life, when the world seems to have collapsed, your life all broken and messed up and you ask "Why me? Lord!"...take a moment and know He was watching and waiting for you to call Him. And when you do, He will come and deliver you for all your pain, your sickness, your sorrows and your tears. And He will wipe each tear from each eye, give you rest for your tired soul and lift you to higher ground.

May you always be reminded that while the world seems to be wasted away...someone up there, up above the clouds, is watching over you and waiting for your call.

Be comforted to know that He cares for you, much more than you will ever know and understand.

Be blessed, be inspired.


No comments: