Apr 4, 2010

Love Is...Part 12

Please Love me Forever, sang by Bobby Vinton
Please love me forever
Don't forget me ever
Just listen to my plea
Please don't stop loving me

You're in my dreams nightly
Don't take my love lightly
Begging on bended knee
Please don't stop loving me

Oh, when I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord your love I'll keep
If I should die before I wake
I'll come back for you
That's no mistake

Oh, I'll love you forever
Can't forget you ever
Our love was meant to be
Please don't stop loving me

I'll love you forever
Can't forget you ever
Our love was meant to be
Please don't stop loving me


What is the greatest story ever told of Love? As a Christian, its often the story of Christ..who gave His life for us. That's LOVE for us, total strangers. Love given and returned, 10x, 100x and possibly a zillion times. Today is Easter Sunday, a day where Christians all over the world celebrated the Resurrection of Christ. The greatest story told of Love.

So today, my love story dedicates to all who have loved, be loved, going to love and lost in love. Because SOMEBODY out there LOVES YOU.

My late grandparents never had the chance to meet and to know each other before they got married. They were match-made and married off to each other just like that. Can Love exists in a relationship like this? I used to wonder hard. In all my growing up years, I spend much of my off days from school with them. I never see them quarrel. Maybe the occasional arguing here and there.

I remembered asking Ah Ma how she met Ah Gong and how did Love happen or did it happen at all? She told me she didn't meet him at all. Their marriage were arranged by her mom. A boy her mom picked from China..from the same hometown she was born. Had to be someone from the same country. She said its a normal thing to do. Back in her days, couples are married off just like that. Love is made over time. Learning to give, learning to like each other was an adventure every day.

I never could quite understand how this kind of love exists until I had to see it myself. My Ah Ma showed she loved Ah Gong all the time. She would cook and serve him first. She would learn to sew for him. And save money for other things. When she became a Christian, she would bring him along to all the church services. I don't have to say about them. All these are faint memories because it happened when I was still a child.

But I do remember all the birthdays we had for them. My grandparents looked like they are made for each other. They never showed us how unhappy they are with each other.

When Ah Ma died, Ah Gong went into depression. And suddenly, he became senile overnight. During the first year after her passing, Ah Gong seemed distant. My mom would remind him that Ah Ma has left us. Then slowly, tears welled up in his eyes. I used to stand outside his room. And used to watch my mom crying and wiping his tears.

It was also those times when I needed Sidney. But he was never there when I needed him.

I visited Ah Gong every Saturday after work. I never talked about Ah Ma because it would make him cry. I ask all my cousins to make a point to find time to visit him. To show their love for him.

My Ah Gong died peacefully in the hospital. Approximately 1 year after Ah Ma's passing. He died of brain damage, yet moments before he left us, all his children were at his bedside. He said he is going off, going to meet Ah Ma. I remembered my mom telling me how much it made her cry. But she had to hold back her pain and tears. In a way, it was a release to let him go to her. But just as much, she also wanted him to stay on.

In Singapore, land is scarce. Though there are still cemetery around, but one is not allowed to buy a plot of land and reserve it for your loved ones. So when Ah Ma died, she was buried in one of the Christian cemetery in western part of Singapore. For some unknown reason, the soil and dirt that lay next to Ah Ma's grave was too soft and not suitable for the next burial. We knew because we visited her grave for fresh flowers and paying our respects to her. For a whole year, that empty plot stayed empty.

When Ah Gong passed away, as if some miracle happened, that empty plot of land had 'wised' up and the soil starts to set. Thus Ah Gong was laid to rest next to his beloved wife. And because the soil was too soft, it affected Ah Ma's grave too. So for a year we couldn't erect a tombstone for her grave.

But miracles upon miracles, after we buried Ah Gong, a month later, the surrounding soil conditions improved. We finally erected a tombstone for them. And since they are buried side by side, it was giant tombstone for them. Combined.

Despite tears and memories, the whole family gathered at the graves of our late parents/grandparents/great-grandparents. We see it as they are together again.

The old church's vows for a married couple that goes :

"Till death do us part"

For them, it seems like they never did part. Even in death, they are still together.

I remembered Ah Ma used to tell me, she wants to live longer. So that she can take care of Ah Gong till its time for him to go. Because he cannot live without her. His life is all about her.

I told Benny about this when we were still dating. And I used to ask him if any one of us should go before the other, what would happen..And he said,

"Why not ask God to take us together. So we don't leave any one behind. But if God wants to just take someone, make sure He takes me first. Because you are much stronger than me. I cannot live without you."

Since then, we never go anywhere outside Singapore alone. Unless its business or work related. Whenever we travel, we go together. If we have to travel for work, we say our goodbyes longer and we rejoiced when we meet again.

So for Benny and I, till death we DO NOT part but lived and loved for a life time and for eternity. Just like Ah Ma and Ah Gong did with theirs.

End of Part 12...


Tania said...

the last part sounds like me and my hubby. we always try to fly/travel together so that in case of mishaps...we'll be together in death as well.

and you know how they say most flight accidents happen during the take-off/landing of the plane....well, we always make it a point to hold hands when the plane is about to take-off or land.

Gina Choong said...

Tania, that is So Sweet! but with different jobs, it quite impossible to travel together most of the times. And we missed each other terribly when one has to go alone. Whenever I go overseas, I think of him all the time..! :(