I needed to write this today. Because I have to go for my medical checkup tomorrow at the hospital. I would be too 'caught up' and I cannot gather myself to write this.
I wanted to write more in Part 6, but figures its too long for one long read. So here it is...
If anyone has told you they loved someone so deeply that the days seemed to end in a second, well, believe in it. Our days together seems to flash by in an instant.
Benny and I dated for a while, like 3 months. And to many, it was brief. Because we swore to marry soon after. We didn't care if others thought otherwise. We knew for sure what we wanted. Its us..for each other. But being him, he wanted to give me the best wedding and to go to places I wanted to go. In many ways, I was still like a child at heart. I wanted to go to Disneyland. But we couldn't afford it because we didn't have that much in savings. So the next 2 years were spent working night jobs. I taught at NPB(then was called The National Productivity Board) on certification courses on Desktop Publishing and Graphic Arts. It meant that we saw each other less. Because I had to work. And every cent I made out of teaching, I set it aside for our wedding day.
Benny took out consultancy work to earn that extra cash. Its all about the money..you may think. After a while, it took a toll on us. I missed seeing him on days I had to teach. And he missed hearing my voice when he had to work. Our week days rush in and out in a flash. He found time to wait for me outside NPB Building after each class. And he would take me home and made sure I reached home safely.
With endless hours I had to work by day and rushing to teach by night and finding time to make up for lost time with him, it made me very sick. I fainted at home and was sent to the hospital. I stayed in the hospital for 3 days I think. Benny visited me at the hospital. And it was the first time I saw how much it hurt him to see me like this.
Then he wouldn't allowed me to teach anymore. So I taught for a year or so. And when NPB gave me a new contract to start a new semester with them, I had to turn them down.
Benny took it upon himself that he has to make sure I am safe and happy. He ate simply. Drunk only water. While he still brings me out to eat well. He would buy for me my favourite yogurt from Yammie Yogurt while he often lied saying he doesn't like sour stuff.
We met in July 1986, we married in November 1988. Our wedding wasn't the highlight of events. We didn't have elaborate dinner banquet in 5 star hotels. My aunt run her own wedding boutique so her gifts for us was the wedding gown I wore. Just two weeks before our wedding, Benny surprised me with tickets to USA. We had planned to go to Genting Highlands or Sentosa..after all, as long as we are together.
I was always trying to save money for him. I wanted to save the extras for our new home. But he said insisted otherwise. So, after our wedding night, we went to USA. We went to Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm, some town outside LA where the bus took us to. Wherever we went, he spent like royalty. Splurging on everything I wanted or eyed at. He bought everything I wanted and he bought nothing for himself. So I bought him sweaters and things for him using his money!
When we got our first home, a HDB masionette in the north east of Singapore, we spend 6 months saving up to renovate the place. So we stayed with my mom. Every day, life was routine. We get up for work, and said that very long phrase to each other before we leave for work each day.
When we came back, we washed up, had our dinners and watched TV dramas. But most of the time, he will be playing computer games because he didn't like soapy dramas and don't want to fight over TV channels with me. He always let me have my way. In many ways, Benny spoilt me too. Just like my parents did.
When we finally moved into our own flat...it was empty, dark and quiet. It was just me and him..alone in the house. He didn't allow me to keep my late nights at work. So in turn, he took it out upon himself and work late nights. But it meant that I was home alone all the time. And he knows how much I loved having pets..he bought a puppy to keep me company.
This is Fable, our male shetland sheepdog..This photo was taken when Fable was 2 years old.
I remembered our first wedding anniversary. I can't cook a decent meal and I didn't want him to bring me to any expensive places to eat. The best I could do back then was Maggi noodles and 1 egg in it. I almost felt like crying. I thought I was such a failure. But Benny felt otherwise. He bought 2 candles, lit it in those old romantic familiar setting we see in movies. And bought sparkling juice to resemble Champagne. We had maggi noodles and sparkling juice in our first home. In our first wedding anniversary.
But I wasn't happy because I dreamt of romantic candle lit dinners with fine food. But I couldn't cook at all. I couldn't cook anything nice for him. Then Benny told me :
"From today on, we will NEVER have our Wedding anniversary celebrated. But instead, we should celebrated it every day. In the things we do for each other. And be reminded always how much we loved and cared for each other. That was important. Not dinners or fancy gifts."
So till today, we kept true to that promise he made. We never celebrate our anniversaries. Never anything I bought for him or he buys for me that special day. But every day, we showered each other with gifts shown in the things we do for each other.
We survived 21 years of wedded bliss. There were days we quarrelled and fought over petty things. But we make up soon enough.
Like for tomorrow, the doctor's visit meant that I needed money to go for blood tests, urine tests, etc. I told him about my doctor's appointment and he wrote me a check for it. He never ask me how much it would costs. He just fill up the numbers and wrote a check for me.
Its the things he does for me. That's love unconditionally, shown every day.
End of Part 7..I hope to write by mid next week..