Mar 30, 2010

Love Is... Part 9

side tracked: Doctor says my health is perfect. Or so until I see him again in 6 months time. Thanks to all who prayed for me. God Bless you.

When I was pregnant with our first child, I found out that my womb cannot carry the baby to full term. The doctor told me I needed bed rest for the initial weeks. But I had just started out in a new job and my boss wasn't too understanding. So I went to work as per normal. The weeks that followed, I became very sick. I was Haemorrhaging for weeks. The doctor had to prescribed iron pills, calcium pills and double dosage of all vitamins for me. It was a difficult pregnancy for me. I suffered alot with her(my first born).

Natasha was born by c-section, at 38 weeks. Although not very 'premature', the doctor had to expedite the birth because my blood prressure shot up very high. According to him, I could have died from it.

When I came out of GA(general anesthesia), Benny sat next to my bed. I was still drowsy from the GA and I couldn't talk. He told me the baby is fine and said "You did a great job, she's beautiful"

I wanted to see her and ask for her. Benny went out to to ask the nurse to wheel in baby Natasha. Though I couldn't get up and was still in a dreamy state, I told Benny that he promised me when Natasha was born, we are to dedicate her to God.

So we did..with baby Natasha in my arms, and with Benny by my side, we gave Thanks to God. For a safe delivery and my recovery. And we told God in unison, in one voice :

"Thank you God for giving us this baby. May she be a testimony of Your undying love for us, Your Grace over all and everything. We, as her earthly parents, return her to You. May her life ahead be Your testimony to everyone. And whatever she do, she brings Glory to Your name! In Jesus Name, we pray, AMEN!"

Natasha was born with a spliting image of Benny. In every facade, even till today, she looks like Benny. Benny adores her and loves her very much. He was a wonderful father. He helps me to feed her, change her soiled nappies when I needed my beauty sleep at night. He never grumble or complain when its his turn to watch over her.

And he takes leave from work to spend with her. He would take her to the beach just to collect sea shells. Then would drive her all over Singapore just to find the best Waffles with vanilla ice cream for her. He would bathe her, clean up her, and tucked her in for afternoon naps. And waited for me to come home from work. And allowed her to tell me her story of how the day started and ended.

Every night before bedtime, he would read her a book. And it was always Goldilocks and the 3 Bears. When she was a little older, Benny used to tease her a fair bit and make her laugh and cry at the same time.

When Natasha started Kindergarten, Benny drives her to school every day. And he would bring her to have breakfast at a coffee shop near her school. Its always 2 soft boiled eggs and a hot milo drink. Simple..but very endearing moments.

When I wanted to have a second child so that Natasha won't be alone, Benny won't agree to it. I had to quarrel with him for a period of several months over this. Until he broke his silence and told me why he didn't want another child:

"I am afraid of losing you. You almost died having Natasha. We have one child, made by both of us. That's good enough. Sure I want to have many more with you, but the doctor said your body cannot take it. I rather be a father of one then to think that you will not be here with me"

So I told him that since we both loved children and we believe in God, we should put the matter with God. Let Him decide if I should or can have another child.

If you know I had 2 daughters, you already know the answer to that.

But Melody didn't come to me easily either. I had more problems conceiving her than with Natasha. Melody was also born prematured and also by c-section. She was born much earlier. At 33.5 weeks. Instead of the 40 weeks. Doctors feared that she may have under-developed organs in her and a blood disorder that she may need to go for blood transfusion soon after birth.

But if you believed in God and put your faith in Him alone, all these will just fade away. And it did. So as with Natasha, and now also with Melody, Benny and I dedicated her to God again. The same prayer but said in unison.

We fought over having her and in between, I had serious Haemorrhaging that I needed my body to recover, so between the girls, their age gap widens. Natasha is 20 years old this year, and Melody is 12 years old.

Looking back, we enjoyed parenting them when they were babies and growing up as the years past. Benny did the same things with Melody as he did with Natasha. However, Melody was closer to me and bonds better.

In all their growing up years, Benny and I have numerous mini quarrels. And its often about the different opinions on how we should raise them. We never knew how best to be a parent. But we know what we didn't want..things that our parents raised us that we didn't like. We don't repeat with ours.

People who knew us think our girls are perfect little angels. Quiet, well mannered and a respect for the elderly. Often I told them, a reflection of us and what or how we are as kids too.

Being me, its not the easiest thing or job to be in. It takes alot of patience and love. Much much more when you are in love with your better half. Our love for each other was really pushed into so many tight corners.

Here's a photo of Benny eating Burgers with Melody. Something he hated. He hates fast food. But for his girls, he would do anything for them just to make them feel he's one of them.

Even when Melody was 4 years old, Benny still adores her and would find all excuses to carry her like a baby. Like he would when Natasha was years ago.

Every night when he drives me home after the shop closes, he talks fondly of them when they are kids. I know how much he wanted to have many many children. But I couldn't give him more. And even then, he always assures me, two is enough. Because I am still the one and only one he really needs.

End of Part 9...


Tania said...

ok i admit...i cried...especially the last part when he said you are the one and only one he truly needs. such a good man!

i've been married to my hubby for 9 years..and i hope we'll have the same kind of everlasting love that you and your hubby have for each other. we have our special phrase too "always kiss me goodnight".

love is not overrated....i really hope everyone can find their one true love!

thanks for sharing...i enjoyed reading your "love is" posts tremendously.

Gina Choong said...

Tania, he wrote that phrase for me and even managed to get a greeting card with the exact words on it. Given to me the day I became a mom. :) Yes, Love is not overrated. To see my late grandparents passed away in different time and period and buried next to each other for all eternity! As you know, in Singapore, you cannot buy a plot of land to bury someone..I think my late grandparent's love for each other is truly amazing. Till death, they still didn't part.

Joy said...

Dear Gina, thank you for sharing this post. I am very touched. We have been trying for children for a while ~ with medical intervention for past year, prayers and lots of love from my hubby and our families... and still trying.

I believe we are all indeed blessed. Will keep the faith. All the best to you and your family! (Btw, the little Natasha looked like you!)

ps: interesting, I chanced upon this blog only now ... and just this afternoon I went shopping (at your shop!)

Gina Choong said...

Hi Joy, you mean you went to the shop yesterday? I usually go after 2pm. God gives..some women cannot have kids, some tried and have, but cannot keep their babies. I am one of the latter kind. My body cannot keep the baby for long. Its very risky to my health to have a baby. But I believe in Almighty God who takes and gives only the BEST to us. My sister has an inverted womb which the doctors told her its impossible to have a baby or even a normal child. But look at God's undying love and grace for her..My niece is very pretty and she's 26 years old now. AMEN! Have faith, only God can give.

Joy said...

Thank you, Gina, for your words and encouragement. Definitely keeping faith!

Yes, left your shop about half past 1. Was that your dad at your shop?

Gina Choong said...

Joy, that's my brother in law. Benny's elder sister's husband.

taffilya said...

This entry made me teared. Especially so as the song attached to this entry being played at the background. Thanks for sharing. Hugs!