Mar 22, 2010

Love is...(Part 1)

The Holy Bible says it so well. So much so that its used so many times as part of scripts in romance movies, or as part of a love vow a couple tells each other in front of family and friends when they marry at the Church.

Love is patient;
Love is kind;
Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
It is not irritable or resentful;
It does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians Chapter 13, verses 4-7

I am getting to lovey-dovey lately due to the Twilight movie. Because it reminds me of my love. The love my hubby and I shared. There were certain scenes or words said during the movie that reminds me that once upon a time, my hubby said the same things to me.

This is going to be long post. A post I wanted to write. To celebrate LOVE. And for my grils to read and come back and read it again. Although I have told my eldest daughter Natasha of this before. Love is not something you hide behind closed doors, or under the carpet. It should be talked about, and shared.

I met Benny in the year I left my previous boyfriend. My ex and I were dating for 2 years and everyone who knew me thought I was to marry him. Much to their disappointment, I didn't. I chose to leave him. His name is Sidney. He was a good man. He loved me too. But he wasn't the man for me. After 2 years, I found out and I chose to leave him. And I buried my pain in my work. I worked long hours to hide my pain. My good friend, Suzie came to my rescue. I would confide to her. And even told her I will never loved another again. Sidney didn't do anything to me. Literally. He didn't cheat on me, or kept late nights. But I long for security, of warm, of being loved unconditionally. To be swept off my feet. He couldn't do any of those for me. Our relationship came to a standstill after the initial 'honeymoon' love stage.

I used to think, at this stage, our love came to a standstill. And we are not even married. What if we are married? Was there something missing in us? Or something wrong along the way that we didn't do?

Or was I being too far fetched in finding that Mr Right? Does he actually exists? A man who would love me unconditionally. Who would love me for all that I am. Who would love me more than I would love myself?

Suzie thinks I am crazy. She says there is no such person. Although she was in love with a man. She told me hers wasn't like what I wanted in a man. Or maybe I really was expecting too much.

So I told myself back then in early 1986, this is UNREAL. There is no such LOVE. There is no such person out there who fit into my 'chart'.

Then Suzie felt I shouldn't be unhappy and sad on weekends. She arranged for me to go out with her on blind dates. It was through one of these blind dates I met Benny.

At first, I told myself just to go and have a good time, eat, drink and be happy. Don't be too serious in finding someone to love. If he does come along, good. If he doesn't, just enjoy the company of friends and food.

But this guy was persistent. He kept asking Suzie to arrange for more such group outings. I felt at times we are like going for an excursion of some kind. We are always going out as a group!

Benny was a shy man. He hardly spoke through out all our group outings. I felt as if he was trying to tell me something everytime. But as a group, he felt shy to say what was on his mind. So after a couple of outings, I suggested that we go out together. Instead with Suzie and her boyfriend who is now her husband. :)

This is the end of Part 1 of this long post. I will write again. Watch out for this..

This is us..back in 1986. 2 months after we met and dated...

and 16 years later(with 2 daughters). Photo was taken in 2002, November. Our 16th Wedding Anniversary

1 comment:

Tania said... sweet!